


Outliving

by Halmaithor



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Past Character Death, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 21:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21224429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halmaithor/pseuds/Halmaithor
Summary: Vex'ahlia is over 400 years old, now, and the pain of outliving so many loved ones has settled into her heart.





	Outliving

**Author's Note:**

> One thing to mention: my headcanon is that the more elven blood you have, the longer you live. In my system, half-elves live around 400-450 years.   
Please enjoy.

These days, Vex’ahlia lives in Zephrah. A few of her great-grandchildren still sit on the council of Whitestone, and they occasionally ask her guidance, but she’s taken a step back from those duties in her old age. _Leave governing to the young,_ she thinks. _They’re the ones built for this world. The Whitestone I knew is almost gone, now._  
  
It’s not a feeling Keyleth shares, but that’s the nature of the Ashari. In many ways, while the humans Vex was charged with were always moving forward, Zephrah is still. The village is better connected to the rest of the world than it was, thanks to Keyleth’s efforts - but at its heart, it’s the same place it was four centuries ago, when she was first appointed Voice of the Tempest. ‘Places like Whitestone exist for their people, and so they change with each generation,’ she explained once. ‘But Zephrah exists for the rift, and that never changes.’  
  
Syngorn isn’t that different after all this time, either. When Vex visits Velora there, she sometimes feels like she’s twelve again, and only the ache in her bones and the sight of her grey hair in the mirror reminds her otherwise.  
The residents of Syngorn live on a timescale centuries longer than hers. She’s come to realise that if you have that much time, you use it slowly.  
  
She’s already outlived so much. Vax. Percy. Cassandra. Her children. Her _grand_children, even. _Enough,_ her heart says. _More than enough._  
And so she sits in the gardens of Zephrah, grateful for the places where time seems to have stopped - and for her sisters, who will soon do her the favour of outliving her for a change.   
  
She worries for Keyleth. More than anyone else Vex knows, Kiki understands the pain of outliving - how the grief settles into your heart, barely noticeable on the good days but all-consuming on the bad.  
Vex remembers the first few years after losing Vax, and how hard she tried to contact him. She still talks to him everyday, but she doesn’t feel that desperation anymore - she doesn’t even use the weathered shrines that still stand at both Zephrah and Whitestone. Instead, she just talks aloud, in much the same way she talks to Pelor on occasion. She looks around at the snowdrops and listens to the ravens overhead, and idly wonders if her brother can hear her. She hopes he can - and Keyleth agrees that he’s still around, in some way - but it doesn’t matter that much anymore. She’d still talk to him either way.  
  
Vex knows she doesn’t have long left, at this point. She’s well into her forty-third decade. She hasn’t been scared of death for a long time - not since the tomb, if she’s honest - but she’s worried for Keyleth. Vex knows the pain of outliving. She hates that she’s soon to be its cause.  
  
She talked to Velora about it, last time she was in Syngorn. ‘Would you look out for her?’ she asked, remembering how Vax had asked the same thing of Percy, once. ‘She has her people, of course, but she’ll need family. Korrin, Scanlan, even Pike - they’re all gone now. I don’t want to leave her alone.’  
Velora took Vex’s hand. ‘Of course. I’ve known her a long time, and you know I’ve come to love her as I love you. You won’t be leaving either of us completely sister-less, I promise.’  
  
The sun has just set when Vex makes her way over to where Keyleth is standing, staring out over the cliffside, lost in thought. ‘Is something the matter?’  
Keyleth turns and smiles at her. She looks about the same age as Cassandra did in her forties, the barest few grey hairs hiding amongst the red. ‘No, it’s okay. Just wondering when I’ll hear back from our emissary to Vesrah.’  
Vex hums thoughtfully as she shuffles up to stand beside her. ‘It’s only been a few days. Give it time.’  
  
They stand there for a while, watching the sky shift from oranges to purples. Vex leans in a little, resting her head on Keyleth’s shoulder. Keyleth reaches an arm around Vex’s waist.  
_That’s the other thing about living so long,_ Vex thinks. _You run out of things to say to each other._ But she smiles, content in the silence.  
  
Eventually, she sighs, stepping away. ‘I think I’m going to retire for the evening - I have some reading to do before bed.’ She reaches up to Keyleth’s face, planting a kiss on her cheek. ‘Love you, darling. Goodnight.’  
‘Night, Vex,’ Keyleth replies softly.  
  
***  
  
Vex does not wake in Zephrah, but in a familiar dark void.  
There’s a rush of wings and then quiet footsteps behind her. Before she even turns around, she can feel the pain of outliving start to lift from her heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr:  
silver-latin-and-salt.tumblr.com


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